You might want to gauge your DH’s expectations hon and also try setting some yourself so there’s no misunderstandings later - I assume when Reu hits 5, if he’s not reached your DH’s expectations he will be wanting the boy to go to school? You may want to make it clear that many kids who go to school at 5 can’t read and write; although most should be able to write their name, recognise colours, numbers, most letters of the alphabet etc.
Also HE is not school and should not really be compared as such; children that are HE will learn things that schoole children won’t and vice and versa - although I suppose it depends on how much you’re going to follow the national curriculum or if at all. Certainly, looking yourself at the expectations for preschoolers may help you to have an idea of where he would be expected to be by school age (i.e. the early years statutory framework) - the emphasis for this age group is on play - although the framework does tend to manipulate the play/activities to ensure these children are ready for school at 4 / 5 yrs old.
Schools need children to be of similar abilities, of similar stages of reading and writing otherwise it can be very difficult for the teacher trying to teach a classroom of 30 or so pupils. And with limited time and resources schools do have priortise those students who either very behind, perhaps have SEN or those who are gifted. It’s not schools or teachers’ fault it simply impossible for a teacher to give undivided attention to each pupil in a class room of 30+ pupils. Although, I know my teacher friends do try very very hard by each and every pupil they teach but between lesson planning and the other paperwork that teachers have to do.. well it impacts on the time they can spend with the kids.
I think too, it will be very important to try and make contact with other HE families in your area; see if there is a group you can go so that Reu can make friends with HE kids, otherwise when he sees his playschool friends going up to school he may be confused and will probably want to go with them. The HE groups often play trips to museum, zoos, farms etc and they tend to get special rates so it’s cheaper too and take take advantage of educational activities normally reserved for schools and groups, which by yourself you may not have access to. Basically, what I’m saying is you may need to let your DH see the variety of opportunites that your son will have that he wouldn’t get at school… which, in a sense, counteracts the other opportunities that schools too might be able to offer.
Also, have you considered what you will do if Reu himself expresses a wish to go to school?
You also need to consider the time and effort required of you too; HE is a wonderful way to educate a child, a route, as you know, I’m taking but it does mean that you will need to work hard at ensuring there is a balance for you too; time for yourself.
It is great though that your DH is open to you doing HE, I think though it would be prudent to try and get him involved too and for him to realise the wonderful opportunities HE affords him too. With his son at home being educated he can participate, he will be able to spend more time with the boy than perhaps possible if Reu were to go to school at 5 - particularly if your DH works.
There is a early years yahoo HE group too, with famlies from all over th country so that might be a good way to get to know other parents too.
HTH
Joxy.
You must be thrilled to have his support, even if slightly unwillingly lol!
