so the story goes…
I have two friends, sarah and gemma.
sarah i have known for 7 years and gemma for about 3.
i have seen sarah go through some shitty relationships and i have always been there for her offering support and offering to have the kids etc despite having 3 of my own and one on the way!(at the time) and i have known gemma since we met at a babay group with our similar aged little girls.
At one of my childrens birthdays parties i introduced the two of them to each other in the hope they would start a friend ship also!
now in the last 6 months i have left my husband and sarah encouraged me to do this as he was a cheeting lying scumbag. now i am on my own none of them are around for me at all. they dont invite me to anything and when i arrange to meet them they are allway too busy but seem to have time to meet each other and exclude me. sarah has now started totally ignoring me and gemma avoids talking to me if she can help it. i dont know what the bloddy hell i have done but i dont know whether to just think sod it and write them off or to wait till they are ready to be civil again.
also when i last met gemma she let slip about a convo she had had with sarah about lots of personal things in my life including my ex husbands antics which i dont really appreciate being common knowledge!!. is this ok for me to be cross about this or am i being totally stupid and missing the point that this is just what girls do behind their friend backs?? I feel like ive got enough going on in my life (as i am doing uni full time with 4 kids ages 5 3 2 and 10 mths) to be bothered with this crap!!!! any suggestions????
geatly recieved, btw my spelling is awful as im vvv tired!
x

It really rather depends on you. 
It could be there is a misunderstanding that has got blown out of proportion somewhere along the line.  Perhaps Sarah wonders if you’ll blame her for encouraging you to leave your husband?  I suppose the only way to know for sure is to be firm you want to talk, I would simply say you feel like you’re being deliberately ignored and excluded and feel hurt.  I would just say that you value the friendship and hope that whatever the problem is it can be resolved - but if they do not want to be friends anymore to please just be honest and say so.

And no, I do not think it is unreasonable to expect some confidentiality from a friend that you’ve told personal stuff to.  And gosh no, this isn’t what friends are suppose to do to each other at all.  But, I would also caution from immediately assuming that these two have just been gossiping behind your back - they could perhaps have been discussion how best to support you - granted their behaviour doesn’t really support this - but having seen a friend being hurt terribly by misunderstandings, recently, I would suggest just having a chat and asking what on earth is going on before you assume these two are just not very nice people.

Just to note:  I find though that when personal circumstances change and you change from being the one offering support to needing it…... well, you tend to find out who your real friends are then.

Joxy.

great advice, i will call her tomorrow and see whats going on. I have known them both for a long time and wouldnt want to looses the friendship!

Think Joxy has given the best advice there!  Good luck Sugarplum, hope it works out ok and that you sort out the problem with your friends.  xx

I think I would expect them to talk about the situation. If they are both your friends and you hadn’t specifically said don’t tell Gemma then talking amongst themselves is a way of working out how they can help you, and making sure that the other doesn’t say or do the wrong thing. Maybe Gemma didn’t understand why you left your husband and Sarah was explaining the situation so that she would understand and be supportive?
Maybe they now realise this uspset you and don’t know how to get past that?