Ok, but I really need to sream today!!!
Basically I came downstairs this morning and dh has emptied the whole of the living room of toys books etc and put some of it in ds room and some in loft. Charlie is only 3 and in my opinion is far to young to be expected to play upstairs by himself with his toys, I spent a long time putting little baskets of things around the living room, not tons of stuff but enough to keep lil one busy and to be honest I’m stunned with what dh has done. I’ve always thought dh has a tidy obsession to a point but I feel all trace of children has gone from our living space. I know this sounds a little petty but I’m really upset. Ideas of how to sort this very welcome :(

sue x

Perhaps a few things could work their way back down during the course of the day.  I know when DS1 was little his toys were kept in his room (because we had so little space downstairs), but toys would be brought down for the day, and go back up at the end of the day.  This system has now completely gone to pot now tha tall of them bring things down from their rooms all day long! But might work with just one little one. 

I know what you mean though about all traces of children gone from the living space.  They have as much of a right to be there as any other member of the family.  Hope you get it resolved soon.

Oh no, sounds like a horrible situation. My dh gets frustrated with stuff everywhere but has never done that. I’m surprised anyone would do that without saying anything though too. I agree about the playing in their room thing too, dd is 4 (5 in Sep) and sometimes is in her room but most of her playing, toys and books are still in the living room.

I’d be upset about it too, and not sure what to suggest with talking to your dh about it. But I would be bringing things back into the room, it’s Charlie’s room too and he needs the space near his family to play. It sounds like you have places for things to go once they’ve been played with so I think your dh needs to “relax” his ideas on a tidy home - good luck though.

Poor Charlie must have wondered where all his things had gone.

I think I’m more upset too as it was all done while I was asleep and wasn’t even discussed. To be honest charlie had a wonderful but little playroom when we first moved here but now its a study, we have a small front living room and another back living space so its not like we havent any room!

I think I’m feeling a bit unimportant as a mother at home today!!

I agree, it’s not so much what was done, but how it was done that is the problem here, and I would also have a big problem with this. IN this situation, I would sit DH down and inform him politely but firmly that such large decisions on how family life is arranged do *not* come from one person in the household without discussion, and do *not* happen spontaneously and without thought or consultation. Then, I would ask about what triggered this action, what needs of DH’s this is fulfilling, and how they might be fulfilled without removing all traces of your little one from your family living room!

Id have a chat with him, let him know how its made you feel by what he has done and maybe you could come up with a way to make it work of all of you, some of the baskets upstairs and a couple downstairs maybe.  My dh has an annoying thing where I have places toys go, some on the shelves, cars in a basket, dolls house bits in a different one ect but he comes home and puts the lot all into one, drives me nuts!

Whenever I’ve peeked in on your blog the rooms always look so welcoming and inviting.  I have to admit sometimes I get stressed with stuff, but it isn’t usually the kids stuff. it’s the paper type that drives me nuts!!  Hope you manage to find a workable solution
Hugs San x

Thought I’d just post a bit of an update.
After calming down and taking many deep breaths I tried to talk to dh about why I was so upset. Now dh is whats known as a bit of a sulky bum! So I had to ask him several times to really listen to what I had to say and try and understand how I felt. I explained what a shock it was to come down stairs and find the ‘toy removal’ and also told him how I felt that charlie is only going to be small for such a short time and an imaculate toy free house can wait. I also mentioned that we need to discuss such drastic things next time.

Anyway, we have agreed that charlie can bring down as many toys as he would like during the day and that ‘most’ of them will go back in his room at night. I still feel dh doesnt really get what I’m saying and I understand his need for tidyness but so far we kind of meet in the middle. Erm…...when he goes to work away next time…...I think me n the little un might forget about the putting upsairs rule though lol.

Is it just me who really doesnt feel the need to constantly tidy up, yes I like a little order but I can definately turn a blind eye to toys and childrens chaos sometimes

sue x

mama2charlie - 28 July 2010 08:53 AM

Is it just me who really doesnt feel the need to constantly tidy up, yes I like a little order but I can definately turn a blind eye to toys and childrens chaos sometimes

sue x

Hope he understood and will talk to you in the future before acting like that, it’s good that you’ve had a chat about it and come to a compromise, although if it was me very few toys would go back upstairs at the end of the day over a period of time, just maybe tidied into baskets in the room.

You’re not alone, I can’t really be bothered with tidying up constantly, and especially dd’s things, would rather spend time playing, crafting or being outside. D tidies things up when it’s a bit chaotic (no space to walk) and I’ll help her but there’s always something around the room in our house.

Enjoy a bit of chaos today