I’m started this thread for the following reason: yesterday and today have been very challenging and I’m losing sight of those positive parenting achivements and descending into being overly self-critical. So I’m going to try to focus again on what I’ve been doing RIGHT! I’d like to hear yours too.
To kick off:
Breastfeeding. (seems like a long time ago now, just shows I can’t think of any in the present…)
Hope you can do better and lift the mood - positive parenting achievements…big or small…?
Sorry to hear you’ve had a tough weekend. What a good idea for a thread, I’m also feeling like that at the moment, not very confident that I’m doing any of it right!
I suppose breastfeeding for me too - I find it very hard sometimes but don’t really consider putting any pressure on my boy to wean because he obviously still has a strong need. Also having come so far, I’m really committed to letting him self wean when he is ready. It’s lonely though as I don’t have any support, my partner probably doesn’t notice us bf any more, he’s so used to it, and even my real bf friends don’t really mention it, now he’s 5, we’re well past the comfort zone for most people!
So thanks for giving me the opportunity to think about this - at first I couldn’t think of anything to reply with!
I think that even on your worst days, you are still doing your best - no, it mightn’t be the best you can ever do but it’s the best you can do at that moment in time, so give yourself a break and pat yourself on the back from time to time! I’m nearly at the 1year milestone of being a mama, Tansy’s still on the booby and is a happy, content, clever, animated little girl, so I feel I’ve done the job I set out to do. We have had our ups and downs but mostly on an upward trajectory, all told! I am most proud that I have gone back to my mental health team and asked for help this time as I know I have to be a better person in order to be the best mummy I can to Tansy.
That sounds like a positive way forward, Rachael - doesn’t SLEEP make a big difference? I forget - this - Babes now being five. Yes, mental health is extremely important looking after yourself (which is a big challenge for mums sometimes I feel as we’re often last in line on the being cared for front) and great news about the bfeeding anarp and seapinks. Onwards and upwards then. More from anyone?
best
w.w.
Lack of sleep can cloud my confidence ATM but currently just about holding it together enough to tandem feed our newborn dd and 2yr old ds who is a bright little boy who is securely attatched and a ‘dream’ to look after or so I was told recently when a friend had him while I had baby.
Can’t think of more… Oh yes- ds also started replacing ‘now’ with ‘please’ with little prompting so grandma will love that!
Love to you too, Dawnsbrood, small steps maybe? Some days it is good to pat yourself on the back for making something nice to eat or even a cup of tea?
best
w.w
I spent an hour and a half tucked up in bed with DD doing some colouring. I really wanted to say no as I was too busy / tired / wanted to do other things / grumpy / stressed, but I said yes and decided to be emotionally present for her instead.
Hope everyone is having a good day today - pats on back, gold stars and glitter all ‘round
After a tiring weekend, we’ve snuggled on the sofa today watching the Where the Wild Things are DVD.
This led to lots of looking through animal books and talking about where they live, what they eat, etc and I’m amazed more and more, day by day at the knowledge and understanding of my little girl. We’ve always taken time to talk about things from an early age, days like this show how much she has listened and read and learned.
I spent my afternoon swimming (but thankfully not drowning) through 60 odd pages of my maternity and birth notes from Jakes birth 4 years ago. Harrowing, tiring and so so so worth it! Finally I can see so much more clearly the source of so much frustration and anger in our relationship. Hard to do, but with great support from my IM…..I really think for us this may be a real turning point in finally (after 4 years) making our positive parenting relationship work properly. This evening I spent a whole hour just cuddling with him and didn’t feel frustrated or worked up by him once. Maybe something that is taken for granted by others but big steps for us. Small tiring steps…..but oh so important to do i think!
Oh, purple caving cat - well done for going through your notes and the turning point reached…small steps turn into big ones after all don’t they? I remember re-reading my birth notes - 49 hours in labour so there were a lot of them! Really glad I had a copy of them though - worth remembering for anyone else who wants a record, you can ask for them.
best
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Er, don’t know if it counts, but today i minded my friend’s 3 kids, me with four children under 6- and we had a fantastic day, it went so smoothly and we had loads of fun.
I mean, i take no credit for the kids, because their mum has raised them beautifully, but still- me, four kids!
