Not for religious reasons, or even commercial reasons but for genuine philosophical Santa-based reasons that continue to baffle me to this day.
The main objection, as far as I understand it, is that Santa is a lie. And, since lying to our children is bad: Santa must be bad too. Beyond this basic premise are other concerns, such as that the naughty/nice set up not being a good message to send; that Santa might be a scary concept what with him breaking and entering; that he gets the credit for the hard work parents put in or even that he is more for the benefit of the parents than the children. Whilst many of these issues are indeed genuine concerns regarding how most parents approach Santa, rejecting him completely is rather like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Essentially, you can absolutely keep the magic without any of the punitive elements, fear or greed that he may well inspire in some though the reasons for this are often overlooked.
For most people, Santa is a fond memory that they cherish. They recall the day that they discovered he wasn’t real with genuine sadness and forever miss the magical feeling that believing inspired. For a small number of people, the discovery came as a rather nasty surprise that they believe harmed the trust they felt for their parents. Often feeling their parents pushed the issue a little too hard, the feeling that Santa was forced upon them can be difficult to shake. I can’t help but feel a little bit sorry for these people, because their parents did indeed take things too far and in the end the magic, or the potential for magic, was ruined and that’s not something you can ever recapture. Such is the wonder of childhood imagination.
Going to bed on Christmas Eve, listening out for sleigh bells and being too excited to sleep all for the anticipation of his visit is something truly unique. Waking on Christmas morning and being more excited to see that he had visited than to actually acquire more toys is part of what makes it such a positive experience. For children, it is more about the magic than the presents and when you take that away all you are left with is the commercialised holiday that we aim to avoid. When parents say they feel Santa takes the credit for the work they have put in or the time they have spent, they’re sending a fairly selfish message. Expecting gratitude is the very opposite of what Santa is all about; he brings presents, for free, for all children and for no other reason than just because. Sure, some people make it about naughty/nice or place monetary value on the gifts but they’re missing the point too. If Santa teaches children anything, it’s selflessness and kindness.
If Santa is a lie, rather than a harmless tradition, then we must consider the many other little lies we might tell our children. The brutal realities of our day to day life. We take meaning and magic where we can, choosing to make this ride a good one, because the truth is that this world is a dark and cruel place where vast numbers are starving with no money between them whilst a mere handful are feasting on more than they could ever dream of spending. Children are alone, lost, trafficked and abused. Their parents drink, use drugs and repeat the cycle because their parents didn’t love them enough either. We are trapped, with no way out and we are forced to work like cogs to keep the wheels of power and corruption grinding endlessly around. We take meaning and magic, where we can, because it is a distraction and because it is a reminder of the good that exists within us when we are free to dream.
When your child asks you if Santa is real, don’t be tempted to lie to force them into believing. If they’re ready to let it go, then we as parents should let it go too. It is, essentially, imaginative play and the child should be allowed to leave the game if they wish. And whilst disappointment is understandable, inevitable even, that’s never been reason enough to avoid something completely. Santa might not be for everyone but the truth is, however you dress it up or down, Santa is the unique embodiment of the beliefs of the child’s parents. Whoever he is to your child is whatever your parenting makes him. Whatever your concerns about him, underneath it all they are better directed at the very real concerns regarding how many people choose to parent their children.
For the rest of us, leave Santa alone!
