When Paula and her husband, Oliver, booked an appointment to discuss fertility problems at a London clinic they were surprised to discover that the answer to conception could be all in the mind.
At the Zita West Clinic in London they believe that the mind-body connection is very important to fertility. They advise clients that getting pregnant is not just about having sex at the ‘right’ time or going through the motions of IVF; the mind can have a very powerful influence on the whole process of conception. So negative thoughts, emotions and behaviour can lead to increased anxiety and depression and sabotage your goals to conceive.
Zita West says “The more work I do, the more I believe that so much to do with getting pregnant is down to our mind-set. Emotional and psychological blocks really can get in the way of conception. In addition, the relationship between the couple holds the key and attitudes to sex are also an important factor. Sex can often be used as a subconscious currency and if both partners are not enjoying sex it can affect their fertility.”
Your relationship with your partner really holds the key. Any feelings of anger or resentment surrounding the relationship, a lack of interest in sex or perhaps difficultly ‘connecting’ with your partner can all affect your mental wellbeing. But, West believes that simply existing alongside each other without addressing the deeper issues can lead to fertility issues.
West continues, “Negative messages from figures of authority can really feed every cell in your body. If as a young woman, a doctor tells you: ‘you are likely to have problems conceiving when you get older,’ this can have a devastating affect, subconsciously crushing your hopes for motherhood; or if a man has had a very authoritarian father, it may affect his sexuality and his belief about his ability to father a child. Negative feelings can lead to anxiety about sex and the belief that it’s not really worth having sex. Similarly, any traumatic events from the past, such as an abortion (often from years back) or repeated failed attempts at IVF or recurrent miscarriage can create feelings of negativity and despair.”
At the clinic, therapists encourage clients to read the following list to see if they identify with any of the following statements:
I need help to stay positive
I feel out of control
I am getting over-anxious
I have never failed at anything until now
I need help to manage my stress
I know I am a perfectionist by nature
Maybe I don’t deserve to have a child
I don’t want to have any regrets
We need help to make the right decision
The clock is ticking
If you can identify with two or more of these statements you might like to try altering your mind-set and learning to let go.
The Manage Your Mind programme at the Zita West clinic incorporates a variety of techniques and treatments depending on the individual and couple needs. It may include CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), hynotherapy, positive visualization, art therapy or guided relaxation. The emphasis is on using techniques to challenge any negative beliefs and to come up with strategies to help you cope positively with the rigors of fertility investigations and treatment and to maximize your fertility potential.
Melissa Corkhill is the editor of The Green Parent magazine, mother of two and author of the book Green Parenting
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1 comment in response to this article
This article makes perfect sense, the power of the mind is really limitless, it just needs some TLC to get it all in order!
An interesting book I came across in a second hand bookshop in town
The Moon and Childbirth, Margaret Millard M.D , Adams Press
This is a treasure of as book for those seeking to learn more about the astrology of conception and birth. The Moon has long been linked to motherhood but what exactly is she up to?
Margaret Millard has distilled within a modest space the fascinating findings of five decades of medical and astrological enquiry. She has gathered together, for meticulous but open-minded examination, many facts, theories, and techniques, including the ancient Trutine of Hermes. Infertility, heredity, the possibility of choosing the sex of the child, and of accurately predicting the date and time of birth, are just some of the matters considered along the way.
In her own inimitable style, Dr Millard brings astrology alive in many casenotes, personal insights and anecdotes. She has an unusual gift for bringing together and sharing with others her gleanings from both science and mysticism. With this book, she fills a long-standing gap in the literature of her subject.
In Chapter 1, Some causes of Infertility - Millard talks about how we need at least two hours of natural light a day outside, as indoors you can never get the full spectrum light, for glass keeps out the ultraviolet, which is important because humans evolved under it, and need it!
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