The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

20th August 2020

This #throwbackthursday we're loving Noemi Kay's birth in a bender story. Written by Victoria Temple and photography by Kate Beer

The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

20th August 2020

The Green Parent

By The Green Parent

20th August 2020

Noemi and her partner, Fish, wanted a homebirth for their second child – but ‘home’ is a timber wagon without running water or mains electricity. The couple and their two-year-old daughter Velvet live in rural Gloucestershire in a traditional showman’s wagon built by Fish. Their 22ft by 8ft wagon is cosy and comfortable, but with two midwives required to attend the birth and with Noemi’s friend also acting as a birth partner – space would be tight. And Velvet would need somewhere peaceful and familiar during the labour.

So the couple set about building a unique space for the birth of their second child. “Quite simply there wasn’t room to give birth in the wagon,” explained Noemi, who makes clothing from reclaimed textiles. “So we had to create a space. I’d had a quick easy labour with Velvet so there seemed to be no reason to go to hospital.”

A Warm Space
Noemi already knew that solid walls were not a requirement for a birthing venue - Velvet had been born in a yurt two years earlier. But Velvet had been born in August. This baby was due in February, and the family had already endured harsh winter snows and plunging temperatures in December. Ensuring that the bender would be warm enough was vital.

Fish, a green woodworker, built an insulated floor before constructing the structure using hazel poles, cut from the hills nearby. With a double layer of canvas, insulated with felt and rockwool and a large pot-bellied woodburning stove, the space was certainly cosy. A reclaimed window from an old cottage was fitted into the side giving natural light. A small solar panel powered a light inside and, because a good light source was also a requirement of the midwives, the couple ran an electric cable to the bender for a more powerful light, if needed.

Appropriately the bender was egg shaped, measuring 15ft by 17ft with the door flap at the thin end of the ‘egg.’ A little pod was attached to the side with a compost toilet.

“If you are born at home, you’ve arrived at the place where you’re going to grow up”

Like a Shrine
With all practicalities taken care of, the couple set about creating a beautiful space, draping saris across the dome and adding sheepskin rugs, a sofa and fairy lights.“We felt this was the first time a being was coming into the world and we should make a really special space for it, almost like a shrine. We had a ‘bender blessing’ – friends came round to bless the space and made candles.”

Noemi’s midwife, Mandy Robotham, had been supportive from the start. Safety is the priority but, explained Mandy, that doesn’t mean having four solid walls and a roof. “With every home birth we assess for safety and that is mainly about access to light, heat, and good access for an ambulance. So in terms of the safety criteria it was the same as a house. All we needed was heat, light and some form of clean water to wash hands. Fish and Noemi had worked so hard and created a lovely space which also ticked all the boxes.”

Vital Comfort
Mandy knows that the birth environment is hugely important for women in labour. “Where a woman feels comfortable and makes her own space - which may simply mean bringing their own pillow or music to a hospital, it can make a huge amount of difference to her comfort and confidence.

“It’s important for them to feel comfortable in their own ‘nest’ – and woman can make that nest anywhere. Relaxation is the key to labour and you can relax into the contractions and work with your body rather than against it. The bender was absolutely beautiful inside and was a lovely space for the baby to come into.”

Waiting for the Baby
When Noemi’s waters broke at about midnight on a February night, Fish’s first task was to light the stove in the bender. Half an hour later, Noemi’s mum arrived to care for Velvet while she slept in the wagon, along with a friend, who was to be a birth partner. Mandy arrived soon after – along with her knitting bag. “I like to knit while attending the birth, she explained. “It’s a very good way of listening to the woman and ‘doing nothing.’ There can be a tendency to feel like you need to be ‘doing something; but what you need to be doing is waiting for a baby and waiting for the body to produce a baby.”

The couple also hoped to have a water birth and Fish had constructed a water heating system, using an old radiator and an open fire to heat water for an inflatable birthing pool. But Noemi’s labour was progressing quickly and it seemed unlikely that the water would be hot enough in time. As Fish put it: “It was a choice or either being outside stoking the fire, or in the bender supporting Noemi.”

A Calm Atmosphere
Noemi said she felt very conscious and calm during her labour. And two and a half hours later she gave birth to a baby girl into Fish’s arms. “It was amazing catching the baby, this wet little human,” said Fish, who half an hour later or so also cut the umbilical chord. “It was a beautiful birth in a calm atmosphere,” said Mandy.

Their new little girl, named Teasel Berry, weighed 6lb 10oz. Teasel, explained Noemi, is an appropriate name for a family whose livelihood is so craft-based and close to nature. Teasels were once used in the wool industry as a natural carder of fleece.

Space for Growing
Now the ‘egg’ has become a useful extra space for the growing family. Velvet loves playing in it and it has become an ‘outside living room.’

For Fish and Noemi, it was the perfect setting to welcome their new daughter.“It feels empowering to do it yourself. With a hospital birth – you always have to go home,” said Fish. “If you are born at home, you’ve arrived at the place where you’re going to grow up.”

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